Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to Uncle Cory (actually not til the 20th)! We got together to celebrate this past weekend and I brought my guitar along to help with the singing. Papa brings his guitar to all the birthday parties - so I thought I'd do the same!

Pumpkin Patch

Today we went to Baasse's Pumpkin Patch. It was a TON of fun! We got to take a hayride on a wagon behind a tractor to a field to go pick out some pumpkins. We picked out 2 bigger ones to carve because we got a bunch of littler ones from Grandpa and Grandma's garden. Daddy found some really winners! Then we went jumping in an inflatable castle. After the castle we rode a train and then took one last jump in the castle before heading to Chili's for a late lunch. The weather was beautiful (mid 70s if not 80) and we all had a great time!

Look at these GIANT ones!

Here are the carving pumpkins Daddy found!
Here is the train we rode. It's on wheels - not a track - but still worked great. It had a blue engine - just like the Little Engine That Could. See...The Little Engine That Could Mommy couldn't resist a picture of Landon laying on the giant pumpkins. It's not nearly the cute picture she was envisioning and hoping for, but it's not easy (nor safe) to get a baby to lay on a pumpkin while you back away to take a picture. So instead you just take a close up of the baby on the pumpkin while someone else holds onto the baby so they don't fall off. Oh well - much safer this way :)

Treasures

I was feeding Landon the other night and Grant came in to talk to me. He started chatting "Mom, you wanna see my treasures?" "Sure" I said. Do you know what he pulled out of his jeans pocket?
Some yucky, dried up leaves, woodchip sticks, small stones, paper and a kleenex. Time to start checking this kid's pockets every time we do laundry! I've sent many a little stone through the washer (along with several chap sticks) over the last couple weeks. He LOVES to collect little stones outside and save them. His "treasures" are interesting!

Chalk

Alayna's been loving playing with chalk outside lately. She draws things, asks what I think they are, tells me what she thinks it is and moves on to something else. Typically both hands are entirely COVERED with chalk and if you look really close in the picture you will see - her face ends up the same way :)
She's funny b/c if you ask her her favorite color she will most likely tell you it is pink. However - if you ask her what color she wants of something (placemat, crayon, chalk, shirt, etc) she will most likely tell you blue. The picture doesn't prove me right above, but if you saw the rest of the drawing on the driveway right now - you'd see the majority is done in blue :)

Precious

Walk to Remember

What a BEAUTIFUL day for a Walk. It was the annual Walk to Remember infant loss down by the lake. We've gone as a family each year since losing Briana. This year about 250 people attended...seemed like the biggest turnout since we've been there today. The walk is about 1.5-2 miles and there is a little program at the start and end of the walk. A few songs are sung, prayers are said and we get to speak the names of our children of whom we are there to remember.

Speaking the name of your child - your child who is no longer here on earth with you. You have no idea how great that is! It's such a hard thing. You know they existed. You know they are your child. You want to talk about them all the time. But the fact is - some people you've met since you've lost your child and they have no clue what has happened in your life. Others just aren't comfortable talking about it with you. And it is pretty hard to talk about someone when they are not here growing and changing in front of you - what do you say about them to keep conversation alive.

I look forward to this event every year. There are a few programs/events we do each year through Wheaton Fransican hospital (where we attended an infant loss support group). It's like going to a sporting event or something. In upcoming years we will have soccer games and swimming lessons and music class, etc for Grant, Alayna and Landon, but it's events like the Walk to Remember in which we can celebrate Briana.

Her life was short, but has shaped us into who we are today as individuals, a couple, parents and a family. Although I don't like the fact she is gone, I'm thankful I had the chance to have her for a little while. Our lives have been changed forever and for the better.

The program at the event is the same every year and this poem is always read. You'd think with it being our 5th year doing the walk I would be able to particiate in the reading without all the tears, etc but today I couldn't do it. Post pregnancy hormones? Maybe. Or I was just having one of those "missing you" days.

A Walk to Remember - by Kathy Mayo

I walk to remember the steps you'll never take

I carry you with me as I firmly plant my feet

Our trek started long ago, before my belly swelled
You were a love the grew - like butterfly wings that beat

Your gentle flutters then became kicks upon which I would dwell

And I would talk to you, sweet babe,
About the world you soon would meet

The sun always shone upon us then - when you were in my womb,

And I was eager to show you the world that would have been your home

How you'd have loved the sun shining - blue skies without a cloud

The automn leaves turning - the snow falling all around
The flowers in the summer would have filled you eyes with smiles,

And the rain that might have fallen would have caused you great surprise

You would have traveled far with me - holding me by the hand

And I'd have shown you all I could - more than I can imagine

You hold my heart tightly now, as though we're holding hands

How far we've traveled little one...
And my life with you has been sweet

For I carry you in my heart as I firmly plant my feet

We love and miss you Briana Mae!

Grandpa and Grandma Kok and Grandma Meidam joined us this year

All the quilt squares all put together at the end of the walk. The quilt squares are In Memory of lost babies

We let 3 pink, 1 white and one Love balloon float off to Heaven

One Month Dr Appt

Friday (9/30) Landon had his 1 month dr appt. He is doing GREAT! He is up to 9lbs 13.5oz which is the 50th percentile for weight and 21.75 inches in length - which is also 50th percentile. (not sure how accurate the length is - it's not so technically done at the dr :) )
He's doing well! We have to give him Vitamin D everyday - which is something every baby needs these days for the first year. We are to continue doing tummy time (so hard - is that unfair for a 3rd child?) and should hope to see some smiling starting anytime now (typically about weeks or so). He received his 2nd Hep B shot too. He cried initially as it was being put in, but his tears did not last long at all.

We are so thankful he is doing so well! Will post a pic later - it's on a diff camera.